It’s Valentine’s Day, when as a culture we simultaneously celebrate and attempt to tame the return of spring. Maybe a blog about sex is not the place to talk about love. Or maybe it’s the perfect place to take a look under the hood of love. So let’s take a stab at that.
This week marks the “fifth luniversary” (as she so cleverly put it) of when Sophie and I met. We met because we wanted the same thing – good sex on the regular. What we got was that plus a whole lot more. Besides the witty banter, besides a simpatico on topics other than sex, we got Something Big. This blog represents our attempt to get our heads and words around that ongoing event.
Nothing about this is usual in the mainstream vanilla way. Sophie and I both have other partners, our anchors in life. Each of our partners, in their different ways, accepts who we are and what is happening here. Sophie and I are blessed to have found them. But we also found each other, and from that serendipitous discovery we have blossomed together. We aren’t new to this. For years, decades, we have unabashedly chased our pleasure wherever it led, down bright highways and into dark dead-end alleys. We have learned, gotten smarter and safer, struck a balance of sorts, but we are who we are.
It is amusing to me that the neologism “luniversary” and the real word “lunacy” come from the same Latin root. In some ways Sophie and I are experiencing a bright beautiful lunacy – a transcendent firework burst every time we fuck. In other ways we have let loose a big sigh of relief, as if to say, “Oh. This is what we’ve been chasing for so long.” We don’t know how long it will last – hopefully forever. We don’t know where it will lead – hopefully to more of the same, in one long unbroken upward spiral. But we know what the alternatives are, and we do not take this for granted.
There are so many things we want to talk about. I have set aside a #metoo reflection to post this love letter in a timely way. After that there’s polyamory (accidental or otherwise), sex addiction (yes, we know how this all looks), the red pill and the blue pill, fun events we have attended or will attend, and who knows what else. We’ll get there, when our actions aren’t giving us even more possible topics.
But for today, a day when as a culture we celebrate or prop up or bemoan our relationship status, I just want to say thank you. Thank you, Sophie, for saving me from the cesspool. Thank you for posting that succinct, superior personal and for having the obvious intelligence (heh) to pluck me out of the hundreds of replies you got. Thank you for your effervescent energy and vision and and wisdom and passion. Thank you for spark-plugging this project, for helping me become a writer again (just as I have done for you). And most of all, thank you for fucking me the way you do, for being hungry to experience whatever I can imagine, and for helping me explore my own frontiers.
Now finish work and gather your things and get your sweet ass over here. I have plans for you this evening.
amaranthine border 